I love my bed. I can lie on the bed any time during the day and I can fall asleep in minutes. As soon as its bed time and I would love to get some sleep my mind goes into over drive and my legs start aching. Its like little electrons going off in my legs and every 10 seconds I have to move, stop the aching that is driving me up the fucking wall. I swear to god its driving me crazy. So I lie there twitching like an idiot and my mind runs away with me, every thought runs into another, like a big bowl you empty contents into and mix it up and its just a goo of nothingness.
Have you been watching Falling Skys on a Sunday night. Well I walked out to go feed this morning and as I was walking across the yard I thought, What the hell would I do if Skitter came thru the trees, making that weird creepy noise they make. I couldnt run, I would be to scared to run, i would cry, it wold see me, kill me, will it kill my animals, OMG! it would, and I would have to hide, then go round and collect dead animal bodies. Where would I go, there is nowhere to run to, I would just have to hide it out under the house and try and make my way back to the UK. How would I get there, I cant walk to Charlotte and catch a plane, the mama Skitter ship would blow it up and I would be stuck here and I would never see my mum & Ron again.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Who in thier right mind thinks of crap like that aye! It sent a shiver down my back and by the time I got to the duck house my utterly stupid thought had disintergrated.
Then Mary came round to see if I had any goats milk soap left she needed to buy a bar. She gave me money for a bar and money to order her 5 bars plus the shipping. All fine, no problem, then I started thinking, about the different flovours of soap, and I want to buy them all, but its going to cost a fortune. Its ok, I can buy 5 at a time in a small box. But what if I order some I dont like, I would have to use it. But its wasted money. I dont have money to waste. Im going thru a bar every 10 days ish. Is that alot of soap to be going thru in 10 days. It just all rolls into 1.
This afternoon I went out to give the ducks fresh water. I got looking at the Sebastopol geese. I dont know if I like the curly ones, I like my smooth ones better. What if the smooth are both boys. I cant sell the curly they might be girls, shall I sell 1 of each, but what if Im left with 2 boys. It went on and on. Why was I even thiking about selling them in the first place. Then Crick decided to do a head bob to Juno, Juno was not impressed by this little crooked duck at all and scremed in his face and my thoghts about geese faded.
I read Renitas blog about counting pennies, I sat there for the longest time thinking. I used to have a money bottle, I would put 1, 5s, 10s, and 25s into my bottle. Its been empty for a long time now. I used to put every spare bit of change I had into my bottle. I have done that for years, even back home from when I was a kid, I had a money bottle. I lost my job 5 years ago to job cuts, I havent had one since. I havent had money since. I havent had money in my bottle since, I havent bought myself anything since, the dog needs to go and get groomed, I have no money, I need new bras, I have no money, I need a job, there isnt any. I need a job, Boyd only wants me to work part time. I need a job, Im going carzy, I need a job, he doesnt want to be stuck doing animal chores all day every day. I would love a tub of Haagen dazs icecream, I dont have money, they are pretty flowers in that womans garden, I dont have money, I need a job. Damn driving me crazy.
What do you want for dinner?
Oh I dont know, what do you want?
I dont know, Tell me what you want,
Well what ever your having,
I dont know what Im having..
.GIVE HIM THE LOOK OF DEATH!!!
What....do...you...want....for...dinner!!!!!
Ill have a pork chop.
Fine, slap it in a pan, throw a potatoe in the microwave. Now to think about what I want for dinner. I want a nice Chicken Korma, they dont have sauces like they do back home, so no chicken korma for me, ill have cerial, I dont really want cerial but I cant be arsed cooking. Who cooks in this weather, why do people always have to eat a big meal, why cant they have a cup of tea & toast for dinner. I hate cooking. I aint cooking ever again. Glad I dont have kids to cook for, they would be living off cerial. Cerial is good for you.
Christina a friend in the duck group is having a baby, they are taking her in this weekend to have it. I got thinking,well, what if they baby got stuck, they will use those forcep thingys and clamp it round its head and pull. I wonder if we came out head and arms first like a horse or cow would they use cow chains to drag us out. And in a split milisecond all these thoughts and pictured were going through my mind at a million miles an hour and all I could see were guys in masks with their sleeves rolled up pulling on cow chains. Am I disturbed! Oh and you know me, I just had to tell her too, yep sure did, for everyone to see in the duck group. Steven thinks im crazy, Im starting to wonder myself.
Today I sent myself a promise. In an email. To myself! I cant tell you what the promise is, its just for me but I sat staring into space over my promise, thinking a million things in like 2 seconds, all running into each other. Thoughts not even finished and another begins, before Im half way through that thought another starts and ends with another. Never ending, driving me crazy. There is so much I want to say but I cant, not about anything in particular, just everything, its just a load of jumbled up crap, stored away for another time, Makes no sense to me or to you, but its there, in that big old bowl of thoughts .
1 day i might get them all straightened out. 1 day!
The ingredience are in there, I just cant get it all straightened out into nice little piles.
Now to go back to bed and deal with my achy legs again, my brain better sit still and let me sleep.
7/28/11
7/26/11
Regress
I would love to be regressed, to be taken back in time. To see who I was, and how I lived. I wonder how many lives I have had. I think I sort know Ive lived before, you know when you just have a feeling. I dont know what era I lived in but I would love to go back to visit.
I remember when I was a kid playing at the park down by the beach. I was about 7 I think. That was back in the days that you left the house by 8 in the Summer holidays and you didnt go back home untill dinner time.
But anyway, I was down the beach playing at the park, just doing what kids do and then I saw a young girl. She was my age and thinking back now, she looked alot like me. She had long curly hair and brown eyes. She was at the top of the slide and when I saw her she turned and looked at me. She didnt say anything and I didnt say anything but we both walked to the swings and just sat there swinging back and forth. 2 names popped into my head, Hazel and Lizzy. We sat in those swings for what felt like forever, just swinging back and forth, not speaking, just looking at each other, as if we knew each other, knowing things about each other that no one around us knew but us. It was like going back in time. All I could see in my minds eye was 2 little girls with long shabby dresses and dirty white pinafores, bare feet, long curly hair, dirty faces, smiling, and a well that you get water from.
Its funny that all these years later I still see things, wether its something I pass in the car, or see on TV, old films, or new films about years ago, way back when, these things still remind me about Hazel, the girl with the long curly hair with the knowing eyes and smile. The quiet conversation, without words, the knowing looks and little smiles to each other
I wonder who she was, who I was. Was she my friend from a past life, was she my sister or a relation. I knew her at 1 time, I just dont know where from but the back of my mind does. It doesnt freak me out, its a different feeling, a knowing feeling. A feeling I dont get often but a calming feeling.
Maybe 1 day I will be regressed back to what I was all those years ago, in another time, another place. I wonder if Hazel will be there if I do go back.
I remember when I was a kid playing at the park down by the beach. I was about 7 I think. That was back in the days that you left the house by 8 in the Summer holidays and you didnt go back home untill dinner time.
But anyway, I was down the beach playing at the park, just doing what kids do and then I saw a young girl. She was my age and thinking back now, she looked alot like me. She had long curly hair and brown eyes. She was at the top of the slide and when I saw her she turned and looked at me. She didnt say anything and I didnt say anything but we both walked to the swings and just sat there swinging back and forth. 2 names popped into my head, Hazel and Lizzy. We sat in those swings for what felt like forever, just swinging back and forth, not speaking, just looking at each other, as if we knew each other, knowing things about each other that no one around us knew but us. It was like going back in time. All I could see in my minds eye was 2 little girls with long shabby dresses and dirty white pinafores, bare feet, long curly hair, dirty faces, smiling, and a well that you get water from.
Its funny that all these years later I still see things, wether its something I pass in the car, or see on TV, old films, or new films about years ago, way back when, these things still remind me about Hazel, the girl with the long curly hair with the knowing eyes and smile. The quiet conversation, without words, the knowing looks and little smiles to each other
I wonder who she was, who I was. Was she my friend from a past life, was she my sister or a relation. I knew her at 1 time, I just dont know where from but the back of my mind does. It doesnt freak me out, its a different feeling, a knowing feeling. A feeling I dont get often but a calming feeling.
Maybe 1 day I will be regressed back to what I was all those years ago, in another time, another place. I wonder if Hazel will be there if I do go back.
7/24/11
Blanket
Do you have a blanket? I bet theres not many grown women out there with a blanket. I bet your kids or grand kids have a blanket or something like it.
I have a blanket, yep sure do. 39 years old and I still have my blanket!
I had another blanket before this one. I dont remember the other blanket at all. I dont know where or how old I was but I remember my mum telling me I lost it on a train. She had to call my Grandma and tell her I had lost my blanket so she could knit me another one for when we got there. This was the end result. This was all the wool my grandma had left. Green, orange, plurple and not even half way round is red. Its not very big, only about 12 inches square. Its about, at a guess 36 years old, at least. I used to suck my thunb and rub my blanket...as kids do, thats why there are big holes in the corners where its been rubbed apart.
My blanket has been everywhere with me. When I joined the Army, my mum asked if I was going to take my blanket. YES!!!! So, off it went and joined up with me. I kept it hidden away so nobody would see it while I was in training. When I got my 1st posting to Bicester I shared a room with Tet, she didnt have a blanket, but she did have a Bambi. A little Bambi teddy bear with the spots rubbed off its bum. So here was us two grown soldiers with our blanket and our Bambi. Tet still has her Bambi, I asked her where it is or have the kids got it. She said OH NO!!!! Its hidden in my underwear drawer!! HA!!! Thast where I keep mine too. How come treasured things like that always go in the underwear drawer.
When I bought my 1st house once I got out the Army my mum shouted up the path as I left her house with my last bits and pieces. Have you got your blanket? YES!!! Why wouldnt I have my blanket. It was coming with me to my new house, to share my bed with me. How pathetic is that, but I dont care. For years it got folded in the morning after I made my bed and put on my pillow so it was ready for bed that night. When I got my cats I would let them share it, I would spread it on my pillow and 1 of the cats would sleep on it. Thats the only time I have shared my blanket.
I moved to South Carolina and got married. As I was packing the last of my things to move my mum asked if I was taking my blanket.....YES!!! So off it went on a plane with me to my new life.
Its not seen much of my new life. Its folded up in my underwear drawer away from the world. I take it out every now and then and wash it to keep it fresh. Its not as soft as it used to be, but then again you wouldnt be after all you have been through. So now its all washed and fresh its time to get folded up once more and put away 
I have a blanket, yep sure do. 39 years old and I still have my blanket!
My blanket has been everywhere with me. When I joined the Army, my mum asked if I was going to take my blanket. YES!!!! So, off it went and joined up with me. I kept it hidden away so nobody would see it while I was in training. When I got my 1st posting to Bicester I shared a room with Tet, she didnt have a blanket, but she did have a Bambi. A little Bambi teddy bear with the spots rubbed off its bum. So here was us two grown soldiers with our blanket and our Bambi. Tet still has her Bambi, I asked her where it is or have the kids got it. She said OH NO!!!! Its hidden in my underwear drawer!! HA!!! Thast where I keep mine too. How come treasured things like that always go in the underwear drawer.
When I bought my 1st house once I got out the Army my mum shouted up the path as I left her house with my last bits and pieces. Have you got your blanket? YES!!! Why wouldnt I have my blanket. It was coming with me to my new house, to share my bed with me. How pathetic is that, but I dont care. For years it got folded in the morning after I made my bed and put on my pillow so it was ready for bed that night. When I got my cats I would let them share it, I would spread it on my pillow and 1 of the cats would sleep on it. Thats the only time I have shared my blanket.
I moved to South Carolina and got married. As I was packing the last of my things to move my mum asked if I was taking my blanket.....YES!!! So off it went on a plane with me to my new life.
The things you miss
Oh the things you miss when you dont have access to them any more. To see, feel, hear, smell them. Oh I wish on this, another hot humid day to be back home.
Peterhead lies on the North East coast of Scotland.
It used to be the biggest white fishing port in Europe untill they passed a law that our Fishermen could only go to sea for a certain amount of days a week due to shortages of Cod out in the North Sea!
The Fish Market used to look like this at one time, I dont know if it looks like that now. The smell, oh my god, the smell lingers in your nose if you dont work in the fish, you pass people in their lunch break in town and the smell of fish is enough to make you run. I miss that smell now.
Boddam Power Station, you can see it all the way from Aberdeen, once you see that lum on the horizon, you know your nearly home. Oh what a great sight to see when you dont see it any more.
And to walk along the beach, no humid sticky weather and bugs to bother you. All bundled up in your jacket breathing in that cold air.
And the rain...oh yes!!! Bring it on. You see it coming a mile away. I miss the rain!
Lush green grass, yep, Ive missed that to, not seen green grass like this in 8 years now. Grass you have to mow every week because it grows a foot high with all the rain.
Yep, I even miss the Skurries that shit on you when your in town. Not just town, they are everywhere, you hear them screetching over head.
A cuppy ah tea an a fine piece.
or a cold Pancake slathered in butter. MMMMMMM!
Fish Supper fae Zanres with lots of special sauce please!
Or a Chicken Korma fae the Indian.
And, a White Puddin Supper fae the Clerkhill chinky with curry sauce.
I will even settle for a Haggis Supper!!! Im not fussy, I will eat them all and enjoy and savour every last bit. I would even be happy just to stand in Zanres doorway and smell it all, that would do me, I dont want to be greedy, just a wee smell would do me just now.
To go see family and friends, not do anything much, just chill, drink tea and hae a fine piece.
To go see Cam, let him do a tattoo on my other foot is a must.
No, thats not dirt, its my sun tanned feet. Yes they are pocky dotted from wearing Crocs out in the sun.
To sit in my mums garden, look at the pretty flowers, watch people walk past and not wonder what he/she/they are doing walking past your house. Over here if someone walks past your house you watch him till they are out of sight and call your neighbour down the street to keep an eye out for him.
The street lamp outside my mums house, lighting up the bed room.
A taxi BEEPING for its passenger.
The click of the garden gate, doesnt matter if its yours or 6 doors down, you still hear it.
To look out the back bedroom window and wait for the bus to go up Aalesund Road. You know you have enough time to walk across the court to wait for the bus.
Its amazing what you miss when you dont have those small every day things in your life. I could go on and on, but I would be here all day.
To go see family and friends, not do anything much, just chill, drink tea and hae a fine piece.
To go see Cam, let him do a tattoo on my other foot is a must.
To sit in my mums garden, look at the pretty flowers, watch people walk past and not wonder what he/she/they are doing walking past your house. Over here if someone walks past your house you watch him till they are out of sight and call your neighbour down the street to keep an eye out for him.
The street lamp outside my mums house, lighting up the bed room.
A taxi BEEPING for its passenger.
The click of the garden gate, doesnt matter if its yours or 6 doors down, you still hear it.
To look out the back bedroom window and wait for the bus to go up Aalesund Road. You know you have enough time to walk across the court to wait for the bus.
Its amazing what you miss when you dont have those small every day things in your life. I could go on and on, but I would be here all day.
7/22/11
Quality Control for the hay
At long last...July 22nd to be exact!!! Hay, 2nd cutting. No more of the dried up winter crap. Nice GREEN hay. Thank You Gene...$45.. SAY WHAT!!!! Daylight robbery at its finest. Give me 2 bales and send up a prayer they dont roll off when I go round a bend and send up another prayer that Mr Police man does not catch me with no lights with my bales rolling round in the back of the trailer.
Amen!!! made it home. The goats eyes nearly popped out their heads when they saw me coming up the drive. Quality Control guys were on standby waiting to inspect. I had those puppies rolled off the trailer in 30 seconds flat. Pictures didnt turn out to well in the sun...but believe me...ITS GREEN!!!!
2 nice big bales...should last me about 6 to 8 weeks. They are as tall as me 5 ft 5.
Quality Control stepped in. Checked it out... and checked it out some more.
They decided to check the under side too...theres just no pleasing some folks!
Looking good so far....
Yep, Its good hay, YOU PAID HOW MUCH!!! Tell Mr Gene he can kiss our lilly white butts, he needs to lower the price!!! 
Its thirsty work being Quality Control round here.
Mary, Steve & Kenneth Roddy all turned up to help me tip the bales flat side down onto pallets. Thank You Roddy Clan. Time to go out and sit and look at my nice hay for a little while.
Amen!!! made it home. The goats eyes nearly popped out their heads when they saw me coming up the drive. Quality Control guys were on standby waiting to inspect. I had those puppies rolled off the trailer in 30 seconds flat. Pictures didnt turn out to well in the sun...but believe me...ITS GREEN!!!!
Mary, Steve & Kenneth Roddy all turned up to help me tip the bales flat side down onto pallets. Thank You Roddy Clan. Time to go out and sit and look at my nice hay for a little while.
Duck days of Summer
Dont you just hate the dog days of Summer, with its heat, sticky air you can cut with a knife.
All I seam to do is sweat all summer. I can not get motivated at all. I get up and have my coffee, clock watching, knowing that I should be out letting the ducks out, feeding everyone. I know that as soon as I step foot out the door im going to sweat! I HATE IT!!!
I go and let the ducks out, I feed everyone, clean the duck house, refill waterbowls & pools, and Im soaked to the skin, literally. I know I have to keep going out, checking on everyone in the heat of the day and I sit there dreading every minute of it. I just wish the wind would blow, the rain would come, dreanch the place and soak me to the skin with rain and not sweat. Yeah I know, SUCK IT UP!!! I cant, If I do, im only sucking up the sweat that dripping down my face, nasty I know.
Im not from round these parts.Im from Scotland, we have snow in June. Oh how I wish we had snow in June in South Carolina, I would even settle for sleet, or even a tad of rain, to wake everyone up from these dog days of lying round to hot and exhausted to do anything. Yes Im a moaner, I hate feeling lethargic with this heat. I want to moan again that the type of lettering in this blog has changed, I want to change it but If I do, I know I will loose what I have typed so far, so, never mind.
Even the little birds sit still and are quiet. Not a cheep out of anyone. Even the crows have been quiet the past couple of days, usually they are out the back of the property cawing at what ever is pissing them off at the time, but nothing, they just want to sit in the shade, not move and get sweaty.
The minis dont do much either, they just congregate round the back of their carport stalls out of the sun and under the trees trying to keep cool, nose to tail, all swishing the flies out of each others faces. The goats sit up on their porch, chewing the cud...yes goats chew their cud! The poor ducks and geese, they try to stay cool but the sun heats up their pools and buckets so quick they have very little relief. The water gets so hot its unbelievable, if it wasnt poop soap, you would use it to have a bath its that hot. They cant wait till the after noon to see me come sweating across the yard. I can sit in the house witht he AC on, they have to sit out in the heat, poor things, and wait for me to come and hose them down.
They all stand there quite happily as I give them some relief from the heat, standing tall like little soldiers, waiting for their turn to be hosed down and get their pools and water bowls filled up. Then for half an hour everyone is happy. They splash about like a bunch of kids, playing, splashing, digging mud holes round the pools, wallowing in it for the relief from these dog days of summer.
Everyone one of them is happy to see me standing there dripping in sweat, the sweat stinging my eyes, getting eaten alive by every bug that passes by. Ok, so I must admit, not this past week I havent. I bought some goats milk soap with citronella in it, no bugs on me, its brilliant!!!! I wish it would also stop the sweat.
All I seam to do is sweat all summer. I can not get motivated at all. I get up and have my coffee, clock watching, knowing that I should be out letting the ducks out, feeding everyone. I know that as soon as I step foot out the door im going to sweat! I HATE IT!!!
I go and let the ducks out, I feed everyone, clean the duck house, refill waterbowls & pools, and Im soaked to the skin, literally. I know I have to keep going out, checking on everyone in the heat of the day and I sit there dreading every minute of it. I just wish the wind would blow, the rain would come, dreanch the place and soak me to the skin with rain and not sweat. Yeah I know, SUCK IT UP!!! I cant, If I do, im only sucking up the sweat that dripping down my face, nasty I know.
Im not from round these parts.Im from Scotland, we have snow in June. Oh how I wish we had snow in June in South Carolina, I would even settle for sleet, or even a tad of rain, to wake everyone up from these dog days of lying round to hot and exhausted to do anything. Yes Im a moaner, I hate feeling lethargic with this heat. I want to moan again that the type of lettering in this blog has changed, I want to change it but If I do, I know I will loose what I have typed so far, so, never mind.
Even the little birds sit still and are quiet. Not a cheep out of anyone. Even the crows have been quiet the past couple of days, usually they are out the back of the property cawing at what ever is pissing them off at the time, but nothing, they just want to sit in the shade, not move and get sweaty.
Everyone one of them is happy to see me standing there dripping in sweat, the sweat stinging my eyes, getting eaten alive by every bug that passes by. Ok, so I must admit, not this past week I havent. I bought some goats milk soap with citronella in it, no bugs on me, its brilliant!!!! I wish it would also stop the sweat.
SO!! Think of your animals on these hot, dog days of Summer! Dont let them suffer.
7/17/11
Greetin Bairns
That is what we say back home. Greetin Bairns, meaning Crying Babies, kids, children or even adults.
Fits a dee we at Greetin Bairn. Whats wrong with that crying baby.
Thast what I thought yesterday when I saw a comment, an unprovoked, un needed comment by an adult. He must of been sat there locked in his unhappy, self loathing world, they both were I knew they were, hateing everyone, everything around them, wondering who they could piss off next and what Joneses they could keep up with. They think everyone is beneath them, oh how wrong they are. We all just look at them, shake our heads, say nothing. Its not worth it. They are not worth it. Just smile, piss them off even more than they are. Leave them in their own little rose tinted world where they can think up more crap to come out of their mouths like it has been for the past god knows how many year. Damn Greetin Bairns.
My own bairns, my kidamals were greetin this morning. It started at 5.30, I got up to make Boyd lunch for work and I could hear them. Peeping away to themselves, well to me really. They had no water, I could tell, thats the only time you hear them. They have to wait, I need to make his lunch and I need coffee. So i left those greetin bairns to greet. Then the next bairn started, non stop so I got up and lifted his fat ass on the bed with Emma. Emma the boxer can jump up, bassett hounds have short stumpy legs so I have to heave his heavy butt onto the bed. They are dogs, they shouldnt even be on the bed. At 6am I dont need greetin bairns so up he went and while I was on my feet, the ducklings down in th spare room got fed & watered to stop them greetin.
Before long it was time to go let everyone out, Sunday is ment to be a day of rest, oh I wish I could of gone back to bed but no. I went to church with Mary & Tony. So, Sundays are a rush for me. I have to get everyone out, fed, cleaned out, shower, hair..ok not hair, I just wash, shake and leave it, get dressed and out the door by 9.30. So I walk out the door to go let the ducks out and there is greetin all over the place. Sonny the cat is greetin. He needs feeding 1st, I had forgotten his dish, so back inside I go. There, you greetin bairn, shut up and eat. I could hear the next lot of greetin bairns...the goats, hollerin like there is no tomorrow, greetin telling the whole world they are starved to death. Liar, Liar pants on fire!!! I cant do them 1st, I let the ducks out. They can see me thru the window of the duck house, WAAAAK WAAKKKKKKKKKK WAKWAAAKWAKKKKK, none stop. Damn greetin bairns! Ducks are out, fed, watered, geese are out fed & watered. Goats are next and then horses. They are the quiet ones, they just do little nickers, nip at each others legs, bite each others necks, do little bucks and fart at the same time.
At last everyone is fed. Im walking to the house and all hell braks loose. The geese are arguing thru the fence with the Pekins. For some reason they hate each other, they are like kids, picking at each other, im better than you, I can bite better than you, my black cat is blacker than your black cat...you get my drift here. Moon the grey goose, she had her head thru the fencing trying to rip the head of a Pekin. The geese are cheering Moon on along with the white Runners and then 1 of the Pekins grabbed Moon by the neck. OMG!!! Damn greetin bairns. She pulled her head back thru the fence and starts a tantrum. Just like kids you see in Walmart. The kids whos parent wont by them this or that and they throw themselves on the floor and start greetin and flailing like a fish on a hook. Here, oh child, who is NOT mine. I will give you something to flail about and you will be greetin for the rest of the week. So I gets the 2 gangs separated and all calms down. Ok, I have time now for a quick shower, a coffee and then church. By the time I picked up the eggs and headed across the yard, Juno...another goose is outside in the human yard along with my 2 young Pekin drakes. I could tell what was going to happen before it even started. Elliot & Gemini rushed Juno, who screamed like a big girls blouse and has a panic attack right there and then for everyone to see & hear. They frightend Juno so much she was more or less flailing on the ground, she had turned into 1 of those fainting goats, was so scared she fell and couldnt get up. I wish her mouth would stop working when this happens but no...damn greetin bairn wont stop. I go runing across the yard, I have to get there before the mob comes. Im running from 1 direction, the other geese and their side kick skinny assed Runner friends are closing in from the other direction. I gets there 1st picked up Gemini and throws him over the fence into the yard he should of stayed in, Elliot is now running for his life with 4 geese and 8 skinny freak birds chasing him. I notice the goats are greetin and bangin heads over whos, is whos, file of hay. Good Lord, I give 6 piles of hay, there is only 5 of them but they are still greetin. Damn greetin bairns. All im thinking as I run across the yard is...im glad I dont have neighbours who can hear my greetin bairns. The Pekins are all up in arms screaming thru the fence RUN ELLIOT!!! RUN!!. Elliot and his fat booty is doing the best he can and managed to get thru the fence minus a few tail feathers while the mob stands goading him on from the other side of the fence. Juno is 6 foot tall now he has his friends round to back him up and the noise is defening with 4 geese all GREETIN at the same time. Damn bairns, always greetin.
I leave them all to have my shower, coffee and go to church.
4 kids go to church every week and they all sit there like kids should. All dressed in their Sunday best, sitting next to parents. Behaving. Like kids should. The parents have installed manners into their kids. You dont hear greetin bairns at church. The youngest is around 2, you never hear her greetin. I liked the last preacher we had. He was always going on about whoopin ass, getting them to behave, helping them be good people, help them to do right and if they do wrong, whoop their asses. I liked that preacher! You always heard AMEN!!! from me. Oh yeah, I was there before he even finished the sentence. AAAAAMEN! Yes Sir.
This week the preacher took his shoe of to tell a story about that shoe. Me, all I could think of was, I could of used that shoe the other week to whoop Keegans ass. I sit next to his grandma in church, Lovely woman, so is her husband. Keegan is thier grandson, hes I dont know..6 maybe. Keegan was at church the other week with his Grandma, he was fidgeting all over the place with a flee up his ass. I thought, Oh man, here goes. I sat down next to him and looked at him. He looked at me with those huge blue eyes and his cheeky grin. I said to him, do I need to take you round back now, before the preacher starts. Nope!! he said. I gave him my bestest bad look to warn him off. No sooner did the preacher start he was off. Kicking the back of the pews in front, sighing deeply for all to hear, poor Grandma was trying to pin him down while he flailed like a dementd chicken. I was ready to whoop some ass, but didnt know how Grandma would take it. As soon as th preacher had finished his sermon Grandma dragged Keenan out the church and home. I went down to see Keegans grandma a few days later and there he stood hands on hips struttin like a little banty chicken and he said, You frightened me on Sunday! I told him I hope he comes to church this Sunday coz see if you do that again while you are with your Grandma I will take you down the back and pull your pants down and give your ass a good whoopin and you WILL sit there and behave yourself.
Knowing my luck I would be blessed with a child like Keegan and I would be forever whoopin ass. I dont think I could cope with greetin bairns, bairns are fine....as long as they go back to where ever they came from and dont greet at me all the time.
Fits a dee we at Greetin Bairn. Whats wrong with that crying baby.
Thast what I thought yesterday when I saw a comment, an unprovoked, un needed comment by an adult. He must of been sat there locked in his unhappy, self loathing world, they both were I knew they were, hateing everyone, everything around them, wondering who they could piss off next and what Joneses they could keep up with. They think everyone is beneath them, oh how wrong they are. We all just look at them, shake our heads, say nothing. Its not worth it. They are not worth it. Just smile, piss them off even more than they are. Leave them in their own little rose tinted world where they can think up more crap to come out of their mouths like it has been for the past god knows how many year. Damn Greetin Bairns.
My own bairns, my kidamals were greetin this morning. It started at 5.30, I got up to make Boyd lunch for work and I could hear them. Peeping away to themselves, well to me really. They had no water, I could tell, thats the only time you hear them. They have to wait, I need to make his lunch and I need coffee. So i left those greetin bairns to greet. Then the next bairn started, non stop so I got up and lifted his fat ass on the bed with Emma. Emma the boxer can jump up, bassett hounds have short stumpy legs so I have to heave his heavy butt onto the bed. They are dogs, they shouldnt even be on the bed. At 6am I dont need greetin bairns so up he went and while I was on my feet, the ducklings down in th spare room got fed & watered to stop them greetin.
Before long it was time to go let everyone out, Sunday is ment to be a day of rest, oh I wish I could of gone back to bed but no. I went to church with Mary & Tony. So, Sundays are a rush for me. I have to get everyone out, fed, cleaned out, shower, hair..ok not hair, I just wash, shake and leave it, get dressed and out the door by 9.30. So I walk out the door to go let the ducks out and there is greetin all over the place. Sonny the cat is greetin. He needs feeding 1st, I had forgotten his dish, so back inside I go. There, you greetin bairn, shut up and eat. I could hear the next lot of greetin bairns...the goats, hollerin like there is no tomorrow, greetin telling the whole world they are starved to death. Liar, Liar pants on fire!!! I cant do them 1st, I let the ducks out. They can see me thru the window of the duck house, WAAAAK WAAKKKKKKKKKK WAKWAAAKWAKKKKK, none stop. Damn greetin bairns! Ducks are out, fed, watered, geese are out fed & watered. Goats are next and then horses. They are the quiet ones, they just do little nickers, nip at each others legs, bite each others necks, do little bucks and fart at the same time.
At last everyone is fed. Im walking to the house and all hell braks loose. The geese are arguing thru the fence with the Pekins. For some reason they hate each other, they are like kids, picking at each other, im better than you, I can bite better than you, my black cat is blacker than your black cat...you get my drift here. Moon the grey goose, she had her head thru the fencing trying to rip the head of a Pekin. The geese are cheering Moon on along with the white Runners and then 1 of the Pekins grabbed Moon by the neck. OMG!!! Damn greetin bairns. She pulled her head back thru the fence and starts a tantrum. Just like kids you see in Walmart. The kids whos parent wont by them this or that and they throw themselves on the floor and start greetin and flailing like a fish on a hook. Here, oh child, who is NOT mine. I will give you something to flail about and you will be greetin for the rest of the week. So I gets the 2 gangs separated and all calms down. Ok, I have time now for a quick shower, a coffee and then church. By the time I picked up the eggs and headed across the yard, Juno...another goose is outside in the human yard along with my 2 young Pekin drakes. I could tell what was going to happen before it even started. Elliot & Gemini rushed Juno, who screamed like a big girls blouse and has a panic attack right there and then for everyone to see & hear. They frightend Juno so much she was more or less flailing on the ground, she had turned into 1 of those fainting goats, was so scared she fell and couldnt get up. I wish her mouth would stop working when this happens but no...damn greetin bairn wont stop. I go runing across the yard, I have to get there before the mob comes. Im running from 1 direction, the other geese and their side kick skinny assed Runner friends are closing in from the other direction. I gets there 1st picked up Gemini and throws him over the fence into the yard he should of stayed in, Elliot is now running for his life with 4 geese and 8 skinny freak birds chasing him. I notice the goats are greetin and bangin heads over whos, is whos, file of hay. Good Lord, I give 6 piles of hay, there is only 5 of them but they are still greetin. Damn greetin bairns. All im thinking as I run across the yard is...im glad I dont have neighbours who can hear my greetin bairns. The Pekins are all up in arms screaming thru the fence RUN ELLIOT!!! RUN!!. Elliot and his fat booty is doing the best he can and managed to get thru the fence minus a few tail feathers while the mob stands goading him on from the other side of the fence. Juno is 6 foot tall now he has his friends round to back him up and the noise is defening with 4 geese all GREETIN at the same time. Damn bairns, always greetin.
I leave them all to have my shower, coffee and go to church.
4 kids go to church every week and they all sit there like kids should. All dressed in their Sunday best, sitting next to parents. Behaving. Like kids should. The parents have installed manners into their kids. You dont hear greetin bairns at church. The youngest is around 2, you never hear her greetin. I liked the last preacher we had. He was always going on about whoopin ass, getting them to behave, helping them be good people, help them to do right and if they do wrong, whoop their asses. I liked that preacher! You always heard AMEN!!! from me. Oh yeah, I was there before he even finished the sentence. AAAAAMEN! Yes Sir.
This week the preacher took his shoe of to tell a story about that shoe. Me, all I could think of was, I could of used that shoe the other week to whoop Keegans ass. I sit next to his grandma in church, Lovely woman, so is her husband. Keegan is thier grandson, hes I dont know..6 maybe. Keegan was at church the other week with his Grandma, he was fidgeting all over the place with a flee up his ass. I thought, Oh man, here goes. I sat down next to him and looked at him. He looked at me with those huge blue eyes and his cheeky grin. I said to him, do I need to take you round back now, before the preacher starts. Nope!! he said. I gave him my bestest bad look to warn him off. No sooner did the preacher start he was off. Kicking the back of the pews in front, sighing deeply for all to hear, poor Grandma was trying to pin him down while he flailed like a dementd chicken. I was ready to whoop some ass, but didnt know how Grandma would take it. As soon as th preacher had finished his sermon Grandma dragged Keenan out the church and home. I went down to see Keegans grandma a few days later and there he stood hands on hips struttin like a little banty chicken and he said, You frightened me on Sunday! I told him I hope he comes to church this Sunday coz see if you do that again while you are with your Grandma I will take you down the back and pull your pants down and give your ass a good whoopin and you WILL sit there and behave yourself.
Knowing my luck I would be blessed with a child like Keegan and I would be forever whoopin ass. I dont think I could cope with greetin bairns, bairns are fine....as long as they go back to where ever they came from and dont greet at me all the time.
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